Being Mom
I must admit, parenthood is hard at times. And it's not the kids throwing food at the dinner table kind of hard that gets me, it's making my kids unhappy for their own good that hits me so hard. I'm a people pleaser. I don't enjoy upsetting other people but I will if I feel the need to express my concerns over an issue or if someone crosses a line with me.
That being said, I love my kids and I have high expectations for them as they grow. I feel doing chores around the house prepares a child for when it's time to step out into the real world and take care of oneself. I find it frustrating when someone can't do for him/herself, and I'm not talking rebuild an engine but I am speaking of caring for your own well being and life.
So, if I really think these things are important then why do I feel like such a terrible parent when I expect my son to help with the dishes and he gets upset and pouts about it? My husband claims that I model this behavior when I respond to certain situations and I must admit, sometimes I do overreact, but rather than respond negatively I'd like my son to learn that some things in life may be hard but that we can still do them, happily. I'm looking inward to see where I can make changes to my own attitude and then remembering to praise Jeremy when I see him going the extra mile with putting a plate away in the dishwasher or picking up his towel off the bathroom floor {I still haven't caught him doing this one yet :)}. When it comes down to it, I want my kids happy and successful. I want them to know they are loved and appreciated. I also want to feel as if we have a healthy bond. Maybe, just maybe one day Jeremy will come around to seeing that the times he had to pitch in around the house has given him a bit more than just irritation and pain, maybe he'll view it as a positive trait he learned to pass on to his own kids.
What's your take on it? Do you see it's important to include your kids in the daily up keep of the home? Or do you feel they'll have to deal with it one day so why not just let them be kids while their young?
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4 comments:
This topic is something I feel very strong about. I grew up having to do chores and though I hated them at the time and totally threw teenage tantrums now that I live on my own and look back, I feel like I learned something in taking responsibility and I am proud not everything was just handed to me and taken care of for me. I nanny the "rich kids" who don't have to obey rules and even though they are still young I can already see the entitlement they are starting to feel and the bratty attitudes they are having because they get what they want and have to do nothing in return.
So I think that it definitely a great thing and you are not being a bad mom. You are being a great mom.
yes - children should do chores and be a part of taking care of the home that they live in. I have a friend whose son was a griper when it came to chores so she has a jar with additional chores written on pieces of paper in it. If Nathan gripes about doing a chore when asked or while he is doing it or after he is done doing it - he has to pull out another chore out of the jar and do it right then. After 2 weeks the griping stopped. Karen
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My parents always made me do chores and such, and honestly, I think it prepared me MUCH better for living on my own. I think it "builds character" as they say.
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