Saturday, September 5, 2009

Where is my God?

I feel as if I've lost God.

This month has been hard and just recently, within this last week, I feel as if He's pulled His hand back and I'm left drawning in my own selfishness, anger, and self-pity.

I feel as if the demons have been let loose and I'm surrounded by them, screaming, looking for any way out, even mad that God would let me feel stranded.

And I know God is still here. I know He will never leave me, but it sure feels like it.

September 11, 2008 evil tried to break my family, and I didnt run then. Now it's much more suttle, and its harder for me to fight.

Why does the devil not hound my husband as he does me? Why do I feel as if I'm the only one in the world that is so torn between loving and serving my Lord and the rest of the world?

Spiritual warfare is real and its hard and I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the only one.
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