Sunday, April 3, 2011

Overprotective Mama??

I walked into Sunday School today and witnessed a Time-Out moment with one of the kids. I over heard the man asking the child, "are you going to be bad? If you're not going to be bad you can do play." I was saddened and shocked in the same moment. I held Maddie a little tighter and didn't know what to do, run with my baby or simply voice my opinion on the situation.

I spoke up and explained that "We" don't do Time-Out but rather a Sit-And-Watch method and that I wanted to double check that if/when Maddie is placed in Time-Out that it would only be for 2 minutes {her age} rather than being isolated away from the group for say, like 10 minutes.

The teacher in the room assured me that they give 3 warnings before Time-Out and that then the child would only sit for 2 minutes. I shared that I'm in Early Childhood Education and that our views just differ on what is effective in discipling aggressive behaviors.

The little boy didn't look as if he was really upset over being in Time-Out, I mean he wasn't screaming or anything, yet he did cover his face a great deal of time. I was really more concerned about the conversation that was being held with the child. I don't consider children to be bad. I believe actions can be undesirable but not that children are typically "bad". I worry about negative labels on children, and about shaming them for appropriate 2 year old behavior. I agree, we don't want children hitting or bitting other kids, but engagement is a responsibility of educators and understanding communication is extremely important for adults as well as kids. 

Again, my class room redirects and practices a method where a child can be moved to the edge of a group, explaining that, "we don't hit, or we use our words," and that when the child is ready to come back into the group then he/she is more than welcome. See, just a small difference in approach, but overall it bothered me so badly to leave her and continue on to church.

I felt horrible for calling out these two adults, I felt horrible for not trusting others to "parent" my kid, and I felt horrible for feeling as if I'm the only one who can accurately care for my child. I also felt like a freak that I don't go with the flow and follow other norms. I know what I feel is important and what works, it's just so hard for me to find a balance between my views {that tend to be different} and blending into society.

I apologized in case I had been rude. I was told, "it was fine..." but I'm worried I've made an enemy before even given this situation a chance.

What would you have done? Do you speak up when you disagree or just keep quiet and wish for the best??


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