Friday, April 17, 2009


I think something is going on. I've become Maddie's number one at the moment. I mean she cries and cries until I pick her up and I think this is taking a toll on her daddy. The other day she was crying with him and after I took her he made the comment, "she just hates me."
We all know Madison does not hate her father, as well as he knows it, but he seems to be a bit depreseed lately. He smiles so big when he's holding her, playing with her, and when shes all curious about him, however, he seems a bit stressed whenever she begins crying.
What can I do? I'm with her all day. I'm breastfeeding so I'm sure just the smell of me means food/survival to her. However, I'm having a big of a problem with my lefty. It's gotten three nice cuts in it. I mean, I've never had a breast that cracked, and boy is it painful. I'm trying everything I can think of: giving it a day off, ice, pumping, different postions, but I'm just not sure if its gonna work out.
Should I stop breastfeeding? I mean, maybe is Sean fed her more often then she'd cry for him as well. I'm just so worried about her crying with my absence. I'm to start school in two weeks which means I'll be gone everyday for about 3 hours. You know she wont understand why I'm not there. You know she'll cry her little heart out when its not me who picks her up.
I just dont know.
I know I love her so much and I want to do right by her. I know formula wont hurt my baby but I do admit that I'll miss the closeness of her nursing if I do stop.
Dear Lord, please tell me what to do...
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