Sean sat down at the computer last night and said, "natural childbirth video?" That was man talk for, "hey, whats this? It seems cool and interesting, but why are ya still viewing childbirth videos? Are you saying youre ready for another baby?? :)"
Anyway, it was a video from the Mother magainze I'd seen off a friend's page and I was loving watching them. I actually spent a great deal of time, while pregnant, watching hynobabies videos. I wanted the imagine in my head of a calm, relaxing birth.
Also, since Maddie was my third baby, I knew exactly what I didnt want in a way of a birth plan. I began pretty earlier thinking and putting into place what I wanted my birth to look like. And it was there that I began looking for women who had done what I wanted. Abbey, was probably the first woman I began talking with who had not only done natural childbirth but had done it at home as well. I guess she was my first mentor. I knew if I could find at least one woman who had done it, than it was possible and do able for me. :)
I was also extremely blessed for having a DH that support my idea. He and I both felt that if we werent sick, if our baby wasnt sick, then there wasnt a huge reason for us to give birth in a hospital. And, besides, there are tons of germs that live, breed, and infect people/babies while they are there. It's just a fact.
So, anyway, my components where coming together: DH was on board, I'd found another woman who had done it, and lastly came into place with my midwife. I think she was the shoestring that tied it all together. Oh, and lets not forget my birthing class. Now, let me make something clear, DH never attending these classes. I went alone since it was Dec. and his business was completely swamped at the time. He and I usually arrived home at the same time, around 10:00 pm on those nights. However, we did make it work. We did our "homework" at night, not always consistantly, but we did it none the less, and it really prepared him for what the birth would/could be like. Anyway, these were the pieces that I felt I needed to have the birth I wanted.
And so today, even though I no longer have that swollen belly, I still have a passion for natural childbirth, pregnancy, and babies. I just think this time around, it all became a part of me. I had to make having a homebirth, going natural, a real part of my identity and in doing so, I've kept it apart ever since.