Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Just Waiting

Glee is on, Sean is putting the baby gate together, and I'm waiting on a video to upload. I've tried all day to upload it here, but with no luck, so I'm over on Facebook, waiting. :)

My life has seemed a bit crazy lately. The morgage application is sitting on the table. You would think I would have filled it out a day ago and would have already faxed it off, but this is HUGE and my emotions are all up in a whirlwind.

I'll truly be sad to leave this home, but I need to. Ugh, I've said these words way too many times in the last few days. I just wish three months were already here and I'd know how it all turns out. "Don't stress so much," some would say, and yeah, you're right, but I am stressing, so deal with it, and just overall back up and let me feel what I need to feel.

I just recently went through one more year without my mom. I so miss my mom. My life changed, completely, utterly the day she took her last breathe. Some may have gotten over it, some may have moved on, and some may not have this HUGE, FREAKIN' hole in their hearts, but I do, and sometimes I just dont know what to do with it.

Sometimes, I feel as if I hand it over to God and He's like, "really, Toni, I don't want this. I have so much more to be doing with my time." Yeah, I know God doesn't feel that way, but sometimes I feel pretty small and whiney.

And I'm still waiting on that video.

Glee is not making me happy today. Where is my island?? Where is my sanctuary?? I'm gonna go watch my hubby put up the baby gate and maybe, just maybe this video will load up and I'll come back and link it to ya, cause seriously, it is toooooo cute!
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