First, lets talk about the good points:
Maddie is doing great with her development. She is actually about 3 months ahead of her chronological age. She is sitting up and within the last day has begun to go from sitting to her belly, where's she's been practicing getting up on all fours and rocking. Yep, she's still scooting around backwards, but we have seen her go forwards a few times. It wont be long til my little girl is up and about. :)
She's also got a nice pincher grasp going on which usually isnt seen til later. She is very detail oriented and loves to reach out with her first finger and thumb to hold tags.
Her words right now are "Da-Da" and "Hey". She will actually use the word hey appropriately when she first greets someone thats she's interested in talking with. :)
So, over all her development is great. She's now in the 50% on height and weight, coming in at 15.3 pounds and 25 3/4 inches long. I cant believe how little she still is, the boys seemed to be measuring around 20 pounds by now. :) Anyway, she had a great visit with the doc. :)
And now to the shots. We talk each visit about shots since pretty much each visit she's required to get about 5 or more vaccines. We talk about the research, the incredients, and how's she's repsonded to them in the past. This time around dr. said that with her great development he feels she's doing extremely well with the shots, that there is no sign at all that they have in any way played a negative part for her. I agreed. So, we said 3 shots. I know one shot contains two vaccines so I was thinking 4 vaccines and never was thinking Polio. DTaP was going to be the most extreme we were going this month.
Nurse comes in. We chat. She pops the shots in and we're on our way home. However, there is a Starbucks coffee in the same parking lot as Maddie's pedi so its just a must to run over and grab one. As we waiting in line, I looked over at the papers and told myself over and over, "dont read them, dont read them. You already know the side effects. You already know what they say. Dont read them." I picked them up anyway and began flipping through them. I froze when I read, Polio. What?!! We hadnt agreed on getting DTaP and Polio together. I would have NEVER agreed on getting those two shots together. They both pose serious side effects and I'd rather she deal with them separately than together. But there it was, just staring at me. And then fear gripped me that I wasnt even sure they gave the Polio at 6 months. Had they made a mistake? Had they over dosed my baby?? I quickly turned the paper over to read its given at 2months, 4 months, and 6 - 18 months. And thats why I didnt realize it'd be given today, its usually listed as an 18 month old shot. I calmed down a bit, grabbed my phone, and called Sean. Thats when I started to cry.
Again, I just never would have given my baby both those shots together. I asked Sean what I should do, should I take her back, and he said exactly what I was thinking,"what are you going to do, ask them to take it out?" Exactly, what was done, was done, and there was nothing I could do about it. Well, I could have gone back, thrown a fit, and found a new doctor, but really I feel completely responsible for what happened. I'm Maddie's mom and I'm the one who's to look out for her. I grill that dr. on everything but I didnt ask exactly what shots we were doing. I assumed I already knew. I assumed we were following a schedule I'd read from another place rather than from my own dr. I also didnt ask the nurse which shots she was giving her. I could have stopped it then, but again, I didnt ask. I didnt speak up. Life is risky and people make mistakes. Half the time we dont communicate all we need to, and this is where we end up.
As I later drove home I was reminded of Pharaoh and how the Lord had placed His hand on the Pharaoh's heart when Moses came to ask for the Egyptians to be freed. Even though I didnt approve the shots, my Lord did. He knew what shots were going to be given and He never prompted me to speak up and ask. He knew I'd probably be upset and He allowed it all to play out. I had to stop and just trust Him. He had my baby long before I ever did so He would make sure to keep her as safe as I'd wish I could.
Maddie has done great with these shots. She's not run a fever, not been fussy, or shown any type of reaction at all. I still cried, I still felt sorry in regards to Maddie, but it all worked out in the end.
I know, that was super long, but I needed to get it all out. :)