Sunday, November 1, 2009

A Mean Mommy

I feel horible. Yes, maybe its hormonal, but even more so, even much more so I feel like I've turned my back on my Lord. This week has been hard. My class was picked not just for the national evaluation but then again for the state evaluaton and then once its all done, you start remembering things that maybe you should have done different; things that maybe you didnt do at all.



And I think I've taken this all out on my husband. Yeah, I really have. I'm not mad at him, I think a apart of me was when I thought I might have been pregnant, but that was just fear more than anything. I've just been so mean lately, and not even trying to be mean. It's my mouth. MY MOUTH! And we all know what comes from the mouth comes from the heart.



Going back to the Lord, I've recently become competitive over this mommy blogging thing. I love the idea as well as the attention, but truly I dont have the time, I HAVE KIDS! Thats what I have. :)

This is just my -I'd like to sink off into a cave and refuel myself-self. I really have nothing to complain about. I turned my heart away for a moment, took my eyes off my true love, and now I'm feeling lonely. It's a natural conseqence and the only way to change it all is to ask for forgiveness (from everyone), turn back around, and put myself back among those that can help me. :)

So, I'm asking for prayers. Pray that my tongue is more controlled and my heart is softened, and always, that the will of Lord is done.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have all been right where you are - we have all said things we wish we had never said and what's worse is once they are said we can apologize but we can never take them back. As far as questioning yourself about the evaluations -don't. Sure there are things you could have done differently but it's over and I am sure you did a fantasitc job. You are right you know - you have children - and after God your family should be your top priority - I Am Third (God, Family, Self) great book by Gale Sayers Now don't get me wrong - the horrible selfish part of me would miss your blogs - reading what is going in your life - but if you would rather spend this time with your family - there is no argument to that - they deserve and want your attention or only go on the computer after they are asleep. Time does pass way to fast and before you know it 7 months has already gone by. Rich or poor, young or old, beige or brown - we have all been given the same amount of time - how we choose to use it is up to each one of us. Karen

Unknown said...

ohhhhhh, I so love how you ended about given the same amount of time. :) Thank you for your words. *hug*

I love you!

Anonymous said...

Can't take credit. It is from a Christian song I can't think of the name right now but one of the lines is we all been given the same 24 hours each day. Love you too! Karen