I feel horible. Yes, maybe its hormonal, but even more so, even much more so I feel like I've turned my back on my Lord. This week has been hard. My class was picked not just for the national evaluation but then again for the state evaluaton and then once its all done, you start remembering things that maybe you should have done different; things that maybe you didnt do at all.
And I think I've taken this all out on my husband. Yeah, I really have. I'm not mad at him, I think a apart of me was when I thought I might have been pregnant, but that was just fear more than anything. I've just been so mean lately, and not even trying to be mean. It's my mouth. MY MOUTH! And we all know what comes from the mouth comes from the heart.
Going back to the Lord, I've recently become competitive over this mommy blogging thing. I love the idea as well as the attention, but truly I dont have the time, I HAVE KIDS! Thats what I have. :)
This is just my -I'd like to sink off into a cave and refuel myself-self. I really have nothing to complain about. I turned my heart away for a moment, took my eyes off my true love, and now I'm feeling lonely. It's a natural conseqence and the only way to change it all is to ask for forgiveness (from everyone), turn back around, and put myself back among those that can help me. :)
So, I'm asking for prayers. Pray that my tongue is more controlled and my heart is softened, and always, that the will of Lord is done.