Monday, March 8, 2010

Rest Day Finds Me Stressed

Monday is always rest day from running, however, I still set my clock to get up anyway. I didn't run, instead I just laid there in bed, nursing my baby girl, and devouring the moments with her.

I'm doing well in my classes. Midterm test grade came back a 91 with the average score being an 88. And, I'm carring a 96 overall in my other class. And yet, last night I was overcome with panic on all the projects that are left to do. I need to read a book and do a book review. I need to complete two more projects out of three while giving presentations on two of them. Ohhhhh, I do not like presentations. And, I still need to take all those wonderful Praxis exams so that I can be lincensed.

On the homefront, life is going pretty well. I was over at the Harrison house yesterday going through all of mom's old things. I found pictures of myself, doing things I don't remember, yet smiling cause I was seeing myself do them. :) I found love letter galore. I even stumbled onto a shoe box Sean had from an ex while in the Navy. Wow. I called him up and asked what he wanted to do with them. He had spoken of this girl before, but I never realized they'd had much a of a relationship until I stood there, holding her love-smitten words in my hands. He said trash them so I did, and I'm glad I did. :) I asked him why things ended for them. He said she went into the military herself and that it just didn't work out for them. The words, "it just didn't work out for them," caught me, but I have no idea why. It was at that moment, though, that I'd realized just how possessive I'd become over my husband. In the past I would have never been threatened by other women from his past, yet now that he's mine, I don't want to hear, see, or even think of other's loving him. :) My Man.... I am stronly passionate about this marriage and keeping it strong. I keep my eyes open, making sure no one tries to come in on my little playground and make a mess. Ok, now I'm just sounding psycho, but you know what I mean, I'm conscious to the fact that affairs happen, people divorce, and I just don't want any of that this time around.

I can hear the rest of my family snoring/breathing as I type. It's very peaceful. I think I'm gonna go lay back down with my baby before I must get up and get the day really started.

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