Sunday, August 15, 2010

You Know You're Parents When...

You fight over naps.

My husband and I had a fight over a nap yesterday. Seriously, people.

A very close friend of ours passed away a week ago and Sean went to the funeral yesterday while I stayed home with Maddie, who has decided to get sick again and keep her mother worried out of her mind over it.

So later, Sean, Maddie, and I met up for lunch and then it was back home where I needed a nap. I laid down with Maddie but to no avail, she was not in the mood for sleepy time, so I let her down off the bed and yelled into the other room, "Maddie is coming in to see you," to her dad. Well, he responds with, "I'm taking a nap."

Oh no, my friend, I'm taking the nap...

He proceeds to turn the tv up, knowing I can't sleep with loud noises. Fine, neither one of us will sleep then. And then it got bad....

I said mean words. He left. And I cried. It was a true fight. We don't have many but when we do have them, all hell breaks loose. You know where he went? Down the street and napped in his car. Did he win? Well he did get a nap, but I'm the one holding the grudge, and hell is still scurring around this house like a wicked little kid playing hide-and-go-seek.

What is it about being parents that can be so draining? Crying babies, frustrating moments of indecision, and just down right times of losing your own identity for the love of a child.

Life continued on, though. Sean came home and mowed the grass (we got a gasless mower). I simply pouted until I had a terrible back spasam and yelled out for his help. Even when I'm mad, he never holds it against me.

A very interesting thing happened. When he left he didn't say good-bye to me and nor did he say he'd be back. I fell into a slight panic mode reliving the day my Dad walked out of my life as a child. I cried. I held my baby and cried. But Sean came home. He had no intention of ever leaving, he was always coming back. It helped me to realize I still have some issues to deal with in the abandonment department. I still get scared of being left alone.

Sometimes I feel like Israel, wandering for 40 years while God changes me. Being a parent is hard. Being in a relationship with another person is hard. But no matter what, even when we have leaky valves that explode and make the gulf coast oil spill seem like some pesky spilled milk issue, we still come back together, for family.
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