Saturday, April 28, 2012

Today I Turn 35

Thirty-five years ago today I decided to make my debut into this world. As the story goes, my mom was to have a planned c-section the next morning {today} so she was sitting in the hospital bed watching the Johnny Carson show {midnight of last night/ this morning} when her water breaks. I have never liked being told what to do... :) So anyway, they let her labor but because I was a bit too big they ended up having to take me by c-section anyway. I remember how my mom would show me the scar, back then it ran from the belly button down. It was her battle scar and she always seemed proud by it. 

I remember when my mom turned 35. Our lives were different back then. I've recently missed my mom a great deal. My birthday and Mother's Day have always been tough since she's been gone but this year, this birthday seems a bit harder. 

I realized the other day that my mom was only a mom for 29 years. That seems like such a short amount of time. She only knew me for 29 years. I wonder if we were given the number to how much time we had with our loved ones, if it would change the way we lived. I'm sure it would. My mom seemed to always be in a hurry. She always pushed me to do better, to do more, and it always seemed to have this urgency behind it. I wonder if in her heart she knew her time would be short and she needed to share as much as she could. 

I wish I could go back and live out those lost 10 years or so with her. I wish I could have had a bit more time, just a bit more. 

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