Sunday, November 10, 2013

Life Is Like A Box of Chocolate: It's Therapy Time

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It's been seven years since I sat in an office for therapy. It was right before my mother passed away. I am grateful that I had a professional to speak with during that time, however, after only a couple of weeks the therapist felt I was equiped enough to make the transition (the death of my mother) in a healthy fashion on my own.
Ok, and yet, seven years later here I sit typing away, filled with anxiety over an approaching appointment. Why am I going to therapy you ask? Since around 18, right when I started college, I began to experience panic attacks. As a small child, I dealt with anxiety, not really understanding what all was taking place, and rarely sharing it with anyone, yet it came about full force when I became a young adult.
I am now 36, so for more than half my life I have dealt with these "attacks." And, to me, and those around me, I feel these moments have caused a great deal of negative situations in my life. Yes, my anxiety impacts the way I live, the way I interact with people, and even the way I maintain my relationships. This is the main reason I'm seeking professional help. I have come to understand that my way of thinking has negatively impacted my family as well as myself and it must stop or at least I need to put forth enough effort in my own mind before simply throwing up my hands and saying, "there is just nothing that can be done about it."
I am not a mentally ill person. I am capable of living, enjoying life, setting and meeting goals, as well as holding down a job, providing for my family, and making good, healthy choices for myself and others. I am, however, apprehensive about sitting down with someone and exposing my thoughts and feelings, openly. It's not easy for me to let someone in, I tend to withdrawl and not often ask for help, but I'm even more tired of my negative thinking towards myself and toward some relationships that I must look to others for insight.
I've choosen a therapist who not only addresses the psychological symptoms but also looks at nutrition and wellness. I appreciate this approach since we are not simply one or two separate areas but a complete unit that works together to make up our whole identity and being.
I also plan to write and share about my experiences. It may get ugly. I know I have several areas that need to be dug up and dealt with. I am fearful of uncovering old pain but I understand the need. So, if you are reading along, please don't judge me as I work through some emotions and behaviors....I'm really trying my best here.
What about You? Have You ever attended therapy?

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