Monday, April 7, 2014

Dear Papa: Life Goes On

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Dear Papa,

Your body was finally laid to rest today in the National Cemetery with Mom. I don't know why your life had to be so short. My heart hurts because this world wont stop moving forward no matter how badly I'd like to just take a moment and freeze it so that I can catch my breath. 

I don't know what I'll do now. I'm sure I'll get up every morning, go to work, workout, laugh, eat, sleep, be a mother, be a wife...all of these things will continue on but there will always be a piece of me that doesn't move, that I left outside the night I heard of your passing and could only mutter, "why."

Why had my Papa left? Why? I repeated it a hundred times, expecting an answer, never hearing anything back, only thinking of Job and the answer the good Lord gave him. Who am I to question God?

But is it God or life that plays out here? Could things have been different? Was this the result of our American diet coupled with the demand of riding, that you loved so much? But in the end, my heart doesn't care what the answer is, it only knows of the countless opportunities and memories lost. So many memories never to be made.

You were put in the ground today and I'm expected to go on living. I think you got the easier of the two options.

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