Life hit me pretty hard recently with the loss of my stepdad, Papa. Sunday will be four weeks since he passed and I'm still not sure which way is up. I know I'm still breathing. I know my kids and husband are still living, and I'm even able to laugh and enjoy life at times. And then there are times when I'm gripped with heart breaking pain, when the tears come, and I begin rocking back and forth trying to comfort myself from the realization of this loss.
My Papa loved cycling. He took it up when my mom's health began to really suffer, probably 15 years or so ago. Riding was his way of releasing stress, of taking a break from the responsibilities of being a care taker, and simply being among friends.
He would ride for hours and then he began entering different races. He never bragged too much about the sport but I always wanted to join him. Every time I'd think it was a good time to take up riding, life would pop up another adventure from my Master's degree, marriage, and/or pregnancies. But no matter what, Papa always found time in his schedule to ride.
I was always proud of him for taking up such a sport and for sticking with it for so many years. I began running about 5 years ago and even though I've taken some breaks here and there, I always return to the sport. I always wanted to run a race with Papa but we never got around to it. Yet my husband recently began training and he and I ran our first race together just last weekend. It was a 5K and he kicked my butt. :)
In the process of about 6 months my husband has removed 62 pounds from his body. He has lowered his cholesterol and is able to run 6 miles, pretty much non stop, at about a 9 to 10 min/mi pace. I'm not that fast. :) And even though, Sean had to run slower that day and even take a few walk breaks, he helped shave off almost a whole minute and a half from my previous race times. I finished at 37:16, he at 37:14. I'm happy to say we took the time to experience that moment together and will never have any regrets of not doing so.
And today, even though I'm still grieving and uncertain of many things, I know I must push forward and make my health a priority once again. Running has never been easy, and it seems a hell of a lot slower when the mind is stressed, but you just keep going, right? Sometimes, like these times, it doesn't matter so much the pace time as it does just simply keeping the routine going so that when I awake from this fog, I'll still be in a place that I worked towards when I first joined the Mamavation Campaign.
This week's goals:
64 ounces of water a day
tracking my food
3 days of fitness (anything from yoga, weight training, to running)
What about You? How has Your week been? What are You striving for in the weeks to come?