Playing In Labor/Delivery: What I Learned On Our Trial Run

So Sunday I had some great pressure waves all day. They were 7 to 8 minutes a part pretty much all day and then around 6:30 pm they jumped to 3 and 4 minutes a part. I got excited. Sean had already left for work so I called my oldest son, Austin, over to stay the night. I simply told him I'd just feel more comfortable if he was here in case anything were to happen. 
I had called Sean a couple times at work letting him know how close things were...this was a first, I've never called him once work starts so he was pretty ready to go into the hospital just based on my own new behavior.
So, the contractions continue on for over an hour and after talking with my cousin, Tiff, I decide we'll just go in and get at least checked. Sean made it home and we decided to take Maddie with us until we knew for sure we'd be staying the night.

We arrived at the hospital around 9:30 p.m. and I was checked and put on a machine to monitor everything. I was 4 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I was really surprised that I hadn't thinned out anymore than I had, in the past, this was never an issue and seemed to happen fairly quickly, but this time around it's been three weeks and I've now only gotten to 50%. Anyway, I was still excited about the 4 cm. This still put us in the first stage of labor but only 1 cm over and we'd be considered active. :)
I realized quickly I was not enjoying the whole lay in the bed hooked up to a machine time. The bed was uncomfortable, the belts were tight, and the baby kept moving so I kept having to be readjusted not to my comfort but to pick up the heart beat. I ended up on my side where my hip began aching...by this time I was  frustrated and ready to go home.

Now, on a positive note here, this was my first enjoyable time in the labor/delivery area. My last two hospital births had been intense and intimidating. It was refreshing to meeting my nurse, Charity, and to actually have a moment to connect with her, share my fears of this only being false labor, and to really get comfortable in a hospital setting. It wasn't until later, with a different nurse, and all the monitoring that I began myself shutting down and wanting to return to my own place of comfort...home.
After an hour, Charity came in to ask how I felt everything was going. I explained that I felt more waves while walking rather than just sitting in the bed. We decided to spend the next hour walking the halls. She wanted to make complete sure we weren't in active labor before sending me home since this was my 4th baby.

Maddie and I walked around the hospital. She did an amazing job being such a big girl. We tipped-toe around since by then it was 10:00 pm and everyone was sleeping. We saw a couple of families waiting for their baby and we even got to see a woman wheeled off to a c-section {that was not a pretty sight. She laid there all quiet, not moving...I thought she was dead.} Anyway, I can't imagine a 10:00 at night c-section to be a planned event so I assumed it was being considered an emergency... definitely not a situation any mother wants to be in.
I knew Charity was going to check me again around 11:00 pm so Maddie and I headed back to my room. I was getting tired by now and I knew in my heart everything had stopped. We would be heading home. I wasn't too completely let down, I would rather be at home than stuck in a hospital bed for the night.
My doc and I had agreed that we'd do very minimal medical intervention so I knew I wasn't doing pitocin or other medications to soften the cervix, this was simply going to be a waiting game. We headed home, stopped off for food, since it seemed everyone was starving, and Maddie and I finally made it to bed around 1:00 a.m. She was a trooper I must say. Daddy was a great supporter. And I didn't cry when I realized I wasn't in full blown labor. :)
I now know for sure that I want to be in active labor when I go in. I also realize that it wont be as comfortable as my home birth but that's the compromise I'm making. My next doctor appointment is in a few days and depending on where my cervix is then, I may ask my dr. to sweep my membranes but that's about as far as we're going to go at this point. We'll have this baby, eventually. :)
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My Birth Plan: Yes Even With #4 I Still Don't Have An Idea What I'm Doing!

So, I've checked around, I've read over sites, and I've finally come up with my birth plan. I shared it with my doctor a week ago and pretty much he said yes to everything: my saline block rather than full IV, no induction, limited fetal monitoring, and placing my bed into a practical squat position. He was ok with everything, assuming the baby is happy and healthy, and I left the office feeling confident and excited.

Then I spent a week thinking about my birth plan and I've decided that I want to go natural but if I end up asking for pain management either through an epidural or pain meds, I'm gonna be ok with that. I truly did enjoy my natural, home birth with Maddie, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to duplicate that birth. I'd love to, but being in a different environment with different circumstances just isn't realistic to think things are going to go the exact way they did before. And, speaking of how things will go, this also means things won't go the way they did with any of my babies, so I don't have to be haunted by fear of a painful birth or delusional to think I'll sleep til 8 cms like with Maddie.

I think the important point I want to make during this birth is not to base my decisions on fear. If I'm scared of the intensity and/or discomfort then I want to voice that rather than beg for a drug thinking it will take away the moment or experience. I want to be comforted more than I even want to be pain free. I want to be appreciative of my body's power and strength and yet to be open enough to relax and just allow my birth to happen.

So, there we have it...I've come to terms with the discomfort of childbirth, I've come to terms with the individuality of the experience of childbirth, and I've finally decided to voice my fears rather than be dictated by them. Only a little while longer, Friends, and then we'll meet this little person. :)



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Getting Ready For Baby

Maddie had to check out the new car seat. Yep seems like a good fit...for her baby brother/sister. :)

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Dear Claire

I realized the other day how quickly this pregnancy is going for us. In only a few short days we'll be 7 months pregnant, within our 3rd trimester, and this experience will all be replaced with new experiences. I held on to my belly as I thought about these things. I mumbled, "I'm not ready for it to be over."

I know two to three months may still sound like a long time but seven months has already come and gone and it's felt more like a day than a hundred days. I thank you so much for sharing these moments with me. I am so grateful that I feel every hic-up and movement you have. I truly am enjoying this time together. I think about your birth, and getting ready for you, but I don't imagine much more than swaying, breathing, and deep moans that move with my body.

It's a bit scarey to be so unplanned. And yet, I'm also relieved and relaxed about it all. I feel as if I'm truly beginning to get to know you while you've already learned so much about me...my voice, my laughter, my tears/sadness, my heartbeat and breath. And now you're even learning about the world outside of us, moving when you hear your sister or dad talk, jumping when you hear a loud noise.

I love you, Claire. I look forward to meeting you face to face but in the mean time, I'm cherishing these special moments we have together.

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