As I type this, my husband is attending his first AA meeting. My heart aches with sadness as well as pride. I'm sad thinking that he may be uncomfortable sitting there or possibly sharing his story and I'm proud because this time last week he was making a promise to attend these meetings.
I had actually forgotten about the meeting and had thought he was heading to work this morning. He set his alarm for 6:00 a.m. to make the 8:00 a.m. meeting. I didn't pay him much attention as we both stumbled around the kitchen, half asleep, getting ready for our day. And now here I sit, tearful, knowing that he is doing this for not only himself but our family.
He has dealth with alcohol abuse for many years and although I did not know he was a closet alcoholic for the past 3 years, I did know that he had issues with alcohol from his past.
In regards to my own issues, I've ordered and began reading, The Courage to Trust. I have a trust issue and it has definitely impacted my relationships in a negative way. And since Sean is making forward progress in regards to his obstacles, then I want to be making progress as well.
I don't want the past to haunt me. I don't want September 11, 2008 or December 17, 2013 to always be dates that bring pain and anger. I want to forgive my husband, as well as myself, and love without hesitation. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray this next year brings great healing and closeness to this family. Amen.
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