It's Almost Christmas, Where Are We Now?

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Last week I came upon a moment that shook me to my core. My husband confessed his long term alcohol abuse and I made the decision to have him leave. A week has almost passed and it seems as if it's been at least several months. I have experienced every emotion possible, from betrayal, heartache, lonliness, frustration, exhaustion, and then, possibly, back to balance.

 

If you are wondering, Sean hasn't left yet...I say yet because I'm cautious as to how this will all turn out. I lack a great deal of trust when it comes to people, especially after I've been hurt, and so I'm waiting and watching.

 

On a positive note, Sean has an interview scheduled this week with the Postal Services. I'm proud to see him moving forward, looking for a job to contribute financially to the family. We have done well enough as a one-income family, but a second income would greatly lower our debt and allow us to plan for future vacations, home repairs, and college funds. :)

 

So what do we do in the mean time, enjoy family time together. I have the next two weeks off from school and I plan to spend it laughing, hugging, and crafting, or at least trying to. Maddie has discovered a new love for crafts and drawings and I want to share in this new adventure with her. We shall see... :)

 

Overall, my faith continues to build in God, personal change, and love. I only hope it continues to impress me.

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"I Hate Mexicans..."

These were the words I heard coming from my seven year old neighbor as she sat next me to on my family swing, glaring at our new neighbors. I was shocked. If I was 30 years older and had high cholesterol I would have fallen over dead from a heart attack. "That's the meanest thing I've ever heard you say," was all that I could muster. I then collected myself and returned to the normal state of being an adult and politely stated that we don't judge whether we like people based on their skin color or where they're from, we look at what they do to determine whether or not we want to be friends.

She stared at me blankly and then I looked down to see the cast on her arm. What if a person said they didn't like people who had casts on their arms? "But I have a cast on my arm," she replied. "Exactly!" It's not fair to say someone wouldn't be your friend simply because you've broken your arm, right?" She smiled. "Right" :).

I'm not sure if it sunk in or not. And sadly, these ideas don't just wander into a child's head, they're planted there by other adults, caretakers, who are suppose to give a crap about this world and others and instead they insist on instilling hatred and ignorance.

I hope to meet my new neighbors, share some stories, maybe even recipes, and invite them to have a sit on my swing for some laughter and possibly even to  break down a small wall built around a little girl.





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Time For Grand Adventures

Each day provides its own gifts.
Marcus Aurelius


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Laughter

Laughter is an instant vacation.  ~Milton Berle

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Motherhood

I ran across this article from The Orange County Register: The Mom Blog and just needed to reposted. I could just leave you with a link, but it was so touching, I'd rather repost it here, in its fullness and share in its love. :)



Motherhood is forever, and other lessons to learn
November 19th, 2009, 3:30 pm · 3 Comments · posted by Cindy McNatt

Even though my pregnant daughter is a nurse and has washed, folded, sorted and sterilized all her baby gear and packed her hospital bag for a delivery in late December or early January, and she is very smart and reads incessantly, there are some things she doesn’t know yet.

About the love:

She doesn’t know to what depth she will fall in love with baby Bo. Despite stocking me up with a gaggle of grandma gear, I know and she doesn’t that I won’t be able to pry that baby out of her hands for months and months. That form of fiercely protective love doesn’t happen until you’re a mother.

About the discipline:

She doesn’t know and I do that despite her claims that Bo will be a well-behaved boy, that when he finally bonks her over the head with a toy dump truck, that she’ll think it’s the most adorable thing he ever did. Discipline is difficult and motherhood gives new meaning to the old parental adage “this will hurt me worse than it will hurt you.”

About the devotion:

She doesn’t know that despite preparing dad for some of the nighttime feedings, baby Bo won’t burp without her flying out of bed to check. A mother can hear her own baby miles away no matter how sleep deprived she is.

Motherhood is forever:

She doesn’t know yet that even when your baby is 33 years old, that the fiercely protective love doesn’t stop, you still think every thing they do is cute, and when they cry you continue to hear it from miles away.

More grandmotherly musings from Hot Flash - Cindy McNatt:

From an almost-grandma: Every parent’s nightmare

Wordless Wednesdays

Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

When I first met my husband he had these words posted on his bathroom mirror so that everytime he looked into it, he read these words. Somtimes I wonder if I even come close to this type of love. In all honesty, I am not always patient or kind. I'm envious at times. I boast and I am prideful. I can too easily be rude, and I feel as if I'm almost always self-seeking. I am angered by my enemies, and I keep a record of wrongs. I do rejoice in the truth but I'm not too far from evil. I always want to protect but hardly ever trust. I do hope, and my love does perserve through hard times. The Lord's love never fails.

I am humbled at how far I have come, but oh so far I still have to go.

Takin' you to the gym

I took you by the gym today. We did a 30 min. elliptical and 15 min. treadmill work out. It wasnt too much or anything, but it was exercise in itself. My belly only got a bit tender when I pushed it a bit on the ellipictal, I just slowed down and the twinge went away.

I love you, my little precious. Do you know that? I hope you do. I keep wanting to call you my little boy...am I just use to having boys or are you trying to tell me something?? I really think I just 1. wouldnt believe I was having a girl, and, 2. I'm not sure I'd know what to do with one if the good Lord did give me one. :)

Anyway, just the thought of you makes me smile. I'm still sharing the news with friends, everyone is very excited and happy to know you'll be coming into the world.

*hug*

I wonder if you will have that dark black/brown hair that your brothers were born with? Your dad has curl to his hair as well as I have some wave in mine...will you get it? And...you so know the question...yes, yes, will those eyes of yours be blue??? :)

We can only wait and see, huh? Yeah, true, true. :)

Siggies

I'm gonna try and see if this works...

Check out these awesome tickers that I found today!

They are for you!

Oh, yeah, March 30, 2009 is your expected due date. I have my first dr. appointment Aug. 7, we shall see what the doc. says. :)